"How am I supposed to run away while you're carrying me? Unless it was more of a toss out- in which case, that's just mean-spirited."
He climbs into the car and hits the ground floor button with his elbow, making sure she's inside before hitting the close door button in quick succession.
He laughs, a hearty and unrestrained sound as he leans up against the opposite wall of the car. It comes out a bit hoarse, but just picturing her trying to get the momentum to toss him is funny enough that he has to wipe his eyes from mirth before long.
"I forgot how hostile you are in the morning." Apparently, it's enough to distinguish from her baseline hostile the rest of the time.
"No, you're just used to getting my morning hostility in other ways."
There's a ding and then the doors open, and she steps out into the building while working her way outside. There's a brisk and cold air that definitely woke her up some more causing her hair to fly behind her. She hunkers down into her pockets as best she can.
"Shit," she murmurs to herself. "Forgot my scarf."
Luke smiles lopsidedly at that, hustling to keep up with her. He throws a glance back at her apartment, they could go back up for it... But she's already grumpy so he decides to walk sideways next to her with his chest pressed against her arm.
"I'll be your scarf," he offers sweetly, though it's hardly accurate. He's more like a brick wall protecting her from the wind. It bounces off the back of his Carhart jacket as ineffectually as anything else would if it tried to hit him.
She smiles and side eyes the hell out him while taking a hand out of her pocket and pushing it against his chest. "Would you stop? You're not flowy and soft. You're hard and... Massive."
She knows as soon as she's done how bad it sounds, but her mouth seems to be running faster than her brain. Closing her eyes tightly she groans slightly, trying to get in before he has a chance to say anything. "You're going to make me trip and fall on my ass if you keep standing so close to me like that."
There's a moment where he just stares at her, eyebrows lifted, but then he bursts out laughing because he only has so much restraint okay. He does turn around to walk next to her like a more normal person, but he keeps their elbows locked so he's still keeping her warm to the best of his ability.
He should have seen that one coming, but as it is he just goes on smiling and ducks his head. He's sure he shouldn't find that charming, and yet...
"Could've fooled me," he admits, thinking of how they fell asleep, and even getting there had been an emotional journey of discovery for them both. Neither of them are good at hearty emotions, but maybe they can get some in over a hearty breakfast? Or Jess could just keep looking at him grumpily as he holds the door open for her, that works too.
She stops after he opens the door and gives him that 'Don't give me that' look, and even continues it after passing him by to go into the diner. There's a spot over in the corner that looks good, and she just goes for it without even bothering to take note of any "please wait to be seated" signs if there were any.
Once she takes a seat in the booth she looks up to see him trailing behind her, and it hits her how fucking surreal this is. That, or she's finally waking up. Either way, she motions to the waitress for coffee, already wishing she had something to spike it with.
"If someone would have told me I'd be having breakfast with you this morning, I probably would have punched them in the face."
What? Like he's vaguely nauseous and torn between that and his bemusement of her? Because he'll give it to her: it sure is a lot of look. Luke holds up two fingers for two coffees and mouths a 'please' but he's perfectly content with their server hating them if that's her prerogative. As usual, he's unflapped by Jessica's grumpy antics.
"Did you already forget inviting me?" This was 100% her idea!! And not just breakfast, literally... all of it. Even if he misunderstood like a dummy and they ended up feelings jamming instead of boning. That was his bad. "Because that was like, five minutes ago." Luke cracks open his menu and frowns at the pictures. Menus with pictures should be banned when you have a 'hangover.' Not like he remembers what those are like, but one can have an emotional hangover, right? If so, that's him. He has that.
She gives him another annoyed look because damn, Luke, can you get off her nuts for a minute, though? Like, at least let her have a drink of her coffee first. Thank God their server was at least on her way now, but that doesn't stop her from rolling her eyes at him.
"It's all just weird, alright? I didn't see you or have any kind of relationship with you after Kilgrave and now we're sleeping together and getting coffee," Jessica's eyes motion up to the waitress and she offers a small nod and a, 'thank you' before resuming her conversation. "So, yeah. Sometimes drunk Jessica makes decisions that makes unfortunately sober Jessica reflect. Is that okay with you?"
Her hand reaches for the coffee and she brings it to her lips and sips before making a frustrated annoyed face and setting back down. Even the fact the coffee is hot is pissing her off, so. Safe to say she is not a morning person.
He's literally trying not to smile too hard, because he knows it will just make her madder. But like, she's adorable. This whole situation is amusing as hell. Their waitress gets a little wave and a nod in thanks as he starts shaking sugar packets and dumping cream in his coffee to cool it down, one knee bouncing up and down under the table. Not nervously, he's literally just... chillin'. Sorry. He's not a morning person, but he is up and ready to talk or not talk about whatever there is to talk or not talk about!!!
"It is, actually." That's all he'd been trying to say. But he's also not upset about... any of this. Still super amused, he takes a first sip and leans back. Yeah, that's good. Or kind of mediocre, really, but he needed it even if coffee isn't his usual thing. The caffeine will help his head. "We're not... sleeping together." Wait. "Are we?"
Is that what they...? He tips his head, sliding his coffee away from himself and looking at her face. She's still grumpy, but that's not what strikes him.
"You texted me and asked me to come over, yeah? I did. So, just... tell me how you expected that to go, I guess. You thought us having sex would be any less complicated than us not having sex?" Because he seriously doesn't think so, personally. He takes another sip and makes another face, then laughs. "I don't know why I ordered this, I really don't like coffee."
"If we're speaking in literal terms, yes, I actually slept with you," Both of her hands come to clasp her mug. "I wasn't implying..." Her nail gives the porcelain a little tap while turning her head to look out the window. Last night, these are the kinds of conversations she wanted to be having. She was drunk and emotional and just wanted some clarity and safety. The morning after, though, she couldn't even decide if she wanted pancakes or french toast--or if she was even hungry, now--let alone be having these kinds of discussions.
"Sex is easy, Luke," Jessica turns her attention back to him now. "Or I thought it was, with you. I don't know, I was drunk and lonely and..." She catches herself almost admitting that she misses him and quickly stops, dropping her gaze to the black liquid in her cup beneath her. "I don't know," she repeats, it being the only answer she has to give him. "I don't know what I expected to happen either way." She fucks shit up, she makes things complicated--that's kind of her thing. Sorry, Luke.
"Okay, true true." He waves a hand, he's not trying to call her out (for a change.) Luke pitches forward over the table and levels her with his kind gaze. Maybe it's too understanding for her, but he gets it. He's the last person in the world who could judge her. One hand reaches out, gently settling over the wrist of her free hand. "We're here to figure this out, right? Together."
The way they should've so long ago. The way they owed to each other and themselves. He draws his hand away and holds his cup in both hands for somewhere to put them more than anything else.
"It's not like I know what I expected either." He just wanted to see her. Obviously, he still does or he'd be gone by now.
More than anything, that response confuses her and pisses her off. She invites him over for sex, he doesn't want it... and now, what? He's trying to... Figure it out now? Her eyes glance from him down to his hand that he's grabbing and she just kind of stares at it until he pulls away.
"What exactly is there left to figure out?" As her hands release from that mug, Jessica leans back against the booth. "I told you last night I was all in, you didn't really give me any indication that was something you want to do, and now here we are."
She grabs a menu and starts to look at, but not actually. It's just something to look at so she can avoid eye contact with him.
"You a sausage or bacon kind of guy, Luke? No pressure, though. I'm sure you'll need time think it over, apparently."
All in. She did say that, didn't she? But he's still not sure he knows what that means. She's upset, she probably has every right to be. He tamps down on the reactionary element inside of him, the one he'd given into and driven Claire away with. He can't really afford to do that here — he won't. And he's not really upset anyway.
He puts his menu down and asks, "Which one do you like better?"
She could definitely be acting a little better, she knows that. He didn't have to come and see her and despite what did or didn't happen last night, he was there for her. Maybe that's what made it so frustrating, though. Why go through all the effort if...
It's here that Jessica's eyes look up at him from the menu after he snipes his question back at her, and the rest of her body is left unmoving.
He really thinks on some level if he just lets her spin out, they can eventually enjoy this meal together. But that question catches him off-guard.
"Of course it matters," he scoffs, only realizing after he hears real emotion in his voice that they're not talking about breakfast meats. "To me, it matters to me." What Jessica wants. That's always mattered, no matter how she wants to see his actions in her mind.
It all just feels so flighty to her, and that's partially due to her own insecurities, and her natural reaction to anyone giving a shit about her, but hearing him say all this just... infuriates her. It shouldn't, so that means of course it does.
God, okay, here it goes. This is what he should have said last night, maybe it's easier before he has a chance to really think too hard. Or something? He catches their server's eye and she ducks off to give them a few minutes.
"After... him." Kilgrave, he still can't even say the guy's name. "You didn't ever think about... I mean, I know I was an asshole. I really didn't get it, and now..."
Now he's seen two different women brainwashed right in front of him, he's been a victim, too. He picks at his nails and leans over his cup, appreciating the warmth if nothing else.
"Well, I thought about us a lot after that. I guess I just figured... it was better to let you move on. That having me around would just remind you of-" Everything terrible in the world? Yeah.
Here comes that headache again. It's like the more he talks the more he just feeds into that bitter and resentful part of her. Nothing he can say will satisfy her, she knows this. But she's worked up now, so there was no real solution otherwise.
"And what? You finally decide its a good time to tell me after I just so happen to drunk text you?"
The problem with Jessica is she just doesn't care what other people think, so she's perfectly okay to has this out, right here in this diner.
"I've been here, Luke. I've never stopped being here no matter how much I wished otherwise. And you're right, I don't have a monopoly on self pity, because clearly you have a big piece of it, too. How little do you think of yourself? How could you possibly--"
Her jaw clenches up once more and she looks away from him, upper lip pressing down roughly on her lower lip. Those familiar tears well up in her eyes and she quickly shoots her attention back over to him, so she can just spit it out and hopefully move on to stop the tears.
"How could you think my life would be better without you in it?"
"I'm not perfect, Jessica," he starts, but she's getting really emotional. He doesn't disagree with her, but he's been trying to own up to his mistakes. He wants to start over, but now she's crying. That has to be his fault. Luke doesn't think about it, he's across the table and on her side of the booth in an instant, pulling her into a gentle embrace against his chest. "I never meant to hurt you." He did and he can't change that. She's been here the whole time, but he's here now, it's up to her if she wants to accept that. If that's enough.
She's not in a full-blown dramatic sob or anything, but the fact that she even has tears streaming down her face silently in the first place really annoys the shit out of her. When he comes to pull her against him she's stiff, focusing all her attention on stopping this little outburst.
"But somehow we keep doing it to each other," She wants to make it clear she knows she's not completely innocent in all this. The back of her hand reaches up and wipes away at her cheeks.
She's not shoving him away so he stays close, petting her hair idly and tipping his nose against her forehead.
"Yeah," he agrees, voice scratchy but not without its own depth of emotion. "Maybe that's just what we do." Hurt each other. It doesn't make him any less game to try being in her life again, though. And maybe that says something about him more than her in the end.
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He climbs into the car and hits the ground floor button with his elbow, making sure she's inside before hitting the close door button in quick succession.
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After stepping in, she leaned herself up against the wall opposite from him, still questioning how he managed to get her moving at this hour.
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"I forgot how hostile you are in the morning." Apparently, it's enough to distinguish from her baseline hostile the rest of the time.
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There's a ding and then the doors open, and she steps out into the building while working her way outside. There's a brisk and cold air that definitely woke her up some more causing her hair to fly behind her. She hunkers down into her pockets as best she can.
"Shit," she murmurs to herself. "Forgot my scarf."
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"I'll be your scarf," he offers sweetly, though it's hardly accurate. He's more like a brick wall protecting her from the wind. It bounces off the back of his Carhart jacket as ineffectually as anything else would if it tried to hit him.
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She knows as soon as she's done how bad it sounds, but her mouth seems to be running faster than her brain. Closing her eyes tightly she groans slightly, trying to get in before he has a chance to say anything. "You're going to make me trip and fall on my ass if you keep standing so close to me like that."
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"What, you don't trust me to catch you?"
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"Nope," She shoves her hand back in her pocket now, hunkering back into her jacket. "You know me better than that, Luke. I don't trust anyone."
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"Could've fooled me," he admits, thinking of how they fell asleep, and even getting there had been an emotional journey of discovery for them both. Neither of them are good at hearty emotions, but maybe they can get some in over a hearty breakfast? Or Jess could just keep looking at him grumpily as he holds the door open for her, that works too.
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Once she takes a seat in the booth she looks up to see him trailing behind her, and it hits her how fucking surreal this is. That, or she's finally waking up. Either way, she motions to the waitress for coffee, already wishing she had something to spike it with.
"If someone would have told me I'd be having breakfast with you this morning, I probably would have punched them in the face."
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"Did you already forget inviting me?" This was 100% her idea!! And not just breakfast, literally... all of it. Even if he misunderstood like a dummy and they ended up feelings jamming instead of boning. That was his bad. "Because that was like, five minutes ago." Luke cracks open his menu and frowns at the pictures. Menus with pictures should be banned when you have a 'hangover.' Not like he remembers what those are like, but one can have an emotional hangover, right? If so, that's him. He has that.
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"It's all just weird, alright? I didn't see you or have any kind of relationship with you after Kilgrave and now we're sleeping together and getting coffee," Jessica's eyes motion up to the waitress and she offers a small nod and a, 'thank you' before resuming her conversation. "So, yeah. Sometimes drunk Jessica makes decisions that makes unfortunately sober Jessica reflect. Is that okay with you?"
Her hand reaches for the coffee and she brings it to her lips and sips before making a frustrated annoyed face and setting back down. Even the fact the coffee is hot is pissing her off, so. Safe to say she is not a morning person.
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"It is, actually." That's all he'd been trying to say. But he's also not upset about... any of this. Still super amused, he takes a first sip and leans back. Yeah, that's good. Or kind of mediocre, really, but he needed it even if coffee isn't his usual thing. The caffeine will help his head. "We're not... sleeping together." Wait. "Are we?"
Is that what they...? He tips his head, sliding his coffee away from himself and looking at her face. She's still grumpy, but that's not what strikes him.
"You texted me and asked me to come over, yeah? I did. So, just... tell me how you expected that to go, I guess. You thought us having sex would be any less complicated than us not having sex?" Because he seriously doesn't think so, personally. He takes another sip and makes another face, then laughs. "I don't know why I ordered this, I really don't like coffee."
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"Sex is easy, Luke," Jessica turns her attention back to him now. "Or I thought it was, with you. I don't know, I was drunk and lonely and..." She catches herself almost admitting that she misses him and quickly stops, dropping her gaze to the black liquid in her cup beneath her. "I don't know," she repeats, it being the only answer she has to give him. "I don't know what I expected to happen either way." She fucks shit up, she makes things complicated--that's kind of her thing. Sorry, Luke.
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The way they should've so long ago. The way they owed to each other and themselves. He draws his hand away and holds his cup in both hands for somewhere to put them more than anything else.
"It's not like I know what I expected either." He just wanted to see her. Obviously, he still does or he'd be gone by now.
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"What exactly is there left to figure out?" As her hands release from that mug, Jessica leans back against the booth. "I told you last night I was all in, you didn't really give me any indication that was something you want to do, and now here we are."
She grabs a menu and starts to look at, but not actually. It's just something to look at so she can avoid eye contact with him.
"You a sausage or bacon kind of guy, Luke? No pressure, though. I'm sure you'll need time think it over, apparently."
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He puts his menu down and asks, "Which one do you like better?"
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It's here that Jessica's eyes look up at him from the menu after he snipes his question back at her, and the rest of her body is left unmoving.
"Does it matter?"
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"Of course it matters," he scoffs, only realizing after he hears real emotion in his voice that they're not talking about breakfast meats. "To me, it matters to me." What Jessica wants. That's always mattered, no matter how she wants to see his actions in her mind.
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"Where exactly is all this coming from?"
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"After... him." Kilgrave, he still can't even say the guy's name. "You didn't ever think about... I mean, I know I was an asshole. I really didn't get it, and now..."
Now he's seen two different women brainwashed right in front of him, he's been a victim, too. He picks at his nails and leans over his cup, appreciating the warmth if nothing else.
"Well, I thought about us a lot after that. I guess I just figured... it was better to let you move on. That having me around would just remind you of-" Everything terrible in the world? Yeah.
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"And what? You finally decide its a good time to tell me after I just so happen to drunk text you?"
The problem with Jessica is she just doesn't care what other people think, so she's perfectly okay to has this out, right here in this diner.
"I've been here, Luke. I've never stopped being here no matter how much I wished otherwise. And you're right, I don't have a monopoly on self pity, because clearly you have a big piece of it, too. How little do you think of yourself? How could you possibly--"
Her jaw clenches up once more and she looks away from him, upper lip pressing down roughly on her lower lip. Those familiar tears well up in her eyes and she quickly shoots her attention back over to him, so she can just spit it out and hopefully move on to stop the tears.
"How could you think my life would be better without you in it?"
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"But somehow we keep doing it to each other," She wants to make it clear she knows she's not completely innocent in all this. The back of her hand reaches up and wipes away at her cheeks.
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"Yeah," he agrees, voice scratchy but not without its own depth of emotion. "Maybe that's just what we do." Hurt each other. It doesn't make him any less game to try being in her life again, though. And maybe that says something about him more than her in the end.
"Ready to order?"
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now it's my turn to play the 15 icon game
LMAO SEE IT'S THE WORST /looks at karen
looks at her too & sighs
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