She gives him another annoyed look because damn, Luke, can you get off her nuts for a minute, though? Like, at least let her have a drink of her coffee first. Thank God their server was at least on her way now, but that doesn't stop her from rolling her eyes at him.
"It's all just weird, alright? I didn't see you or have any kind of relationship with you after Kilgrave and now we're sleeping together and getting coffee," Jessica's eyes motion up to the waitress and she offers a small nod and a, 'thank you' before resuming her conversation. "So, yeah. Sometimes drunk Jessica makes decisions that makes unfortunately sober Jessica reflect. Is that okay with you?"
Her hand reaches for the coffee and she brings it to her lips and sips before making a frustrated annoyed face and setting back down. Even the fact the coffee is hot is pissing her off, so. Safe to say she is not a morning person.
He's literally trying not to smile too hard, because he knows it will just make her madder. But like, she's adorable. This whole situation is amusing as hell. Their waitress gets a little wave and a nod in thanks as he starts shaking sugar packets and dumping cream in his coffee to cool it down, one knee bouncing up and down under the table. Not nervously, he's literally just... chillin'. Sorry. He's not a morning person, but he is up and ready to talk or not talk about whatever there is to talk or not talk about!!!
"It is, actually." That's all he'd been trying to say. But he's also not upset about... any of this. Still super amused, he takes a first sip and leans back. Yeah, that's good. Or kind of mediocre, really, but he needed it even if coffee isn't his usual thing. The caffeine will help his head. "We're not... sleeping together." Wait. "Are we?"
Is that what they...? He tips his head, sliding his coffee away from himself and looking at her face. She's still grumpy, but that's not what strikes him.
"You texted me and asked me to come over, yeah? I did. So, just... tell me how you expected that to go, I guess. You thought us having sex would be any less complicated than us not having sex?" Because he seriously doesn't think so, personally. He takes another sip and makes another face, then laughs. "I don't know why I ordered this, I really don't like coffee."
"If we're speaking in literal terms, yes, I actually slept with you," Both of her hands come to clasp her mug. "I wasn't implying..." Her nail gives the porcelain a little tap while turning her head to look out the window. Last night, these are the kinds of conversations she wanted to be having. She was drunk and emotional and just wanted some clarity and safety. The morning after, though, she couldn't even decide if she wanted pancakes or french toast--or if she was even hungry, now--let alone be having these kinds of discussions.
"Sex is easy, Luke," Jessica turns her attention back to him now. "Or I thought it was, with you. I don't know, I was drunk and lonely and..." She catches herself almost admitting that she misses him and quickly stops, dropping her gaze to the black liquid in her cup beneath her. "I don't know," she repeats, it being the only answer she has to give him. "I don't know what I expected to happen either way." She fucks shit up, she makes things complicated--that's kind of her thing. Sorry, Luke.
"Okay, true true." He waves a hand, he's not trying to call her out (for a change.) Luke pitches forward over the table and levels her with his kind gaze. Maybe it's too understanding for her, but he gets it. He's the last person in the world who could judge her. One hand reaches out, gently settling over the wrist of her free hand. "We're here to figure this out, right? Together."
The way they should've so long ago. The way they owed to each other and themselves. He draws his hand away and holds his cup in both hands for somewhere to put them more than anything else.
"It's not like I know what I expected either." He just wanted to see her. Obviously, he still does or he'd be gone by now.
More than anything, that response confuses her and pisses her off. She invites him over for sex, he doesn't want it... and now, what? He's trying to... Figure it out now? Her eyes glance from him down to his hand that he's grabbing and she just kind of stares at it until he pulls away.
"What exactly is there left to figure out?" As her hands release from that mug, Jessica leans back against the booth. "I told you last night I was all in, you didn't really give me any indication that was something you want to do, and now here we are."
She grabs a menu and starts to look at, but not actually. It's just something to look at so she can avoid eye contact with him.
"You a sausage or bacon kind of guy, Luke? No pressure, though. I'm sure you'll need time think it over, apparently."
All in. She did say that, didn't she? But he's still not sure he knows what that means. She's upset, she probably has every right to be. He tamps down on the reactionary element inside of him, the one he'd given into and driven Claire away with. He can't really afford to do that here — he won't. And he's not really upset anyway.
He puts his menu down and asks, "Which one do you like better?"
She could definitely be acting a little better, she knows that. He didn't have to come and see her and despite what did or didn't happen last night, he was there for her. Maybe that's what made it so frustrating, though. Why go through all the effort if...
It's here that Jessica's eyes look up at him from the menu after he snipes his question back at her, and the rest of her body is left unmoving.
He really thinks on some level if he just lets her spin out, they can eventually enjoy this meal together. But that question catches him off-guard.
"Of course it matters," he scoffs, only realizing after he hears real emotion in his voice that they're not talking about breakfast meats. "To me, it matters to me." What Jessica wants. That's always mattered, no matter how she wants to see his actions in her mind.
It all just feels so flighty to her, and that's partially due to her own insecurities, and her natural reaction to anyone giving a shit about her, but hearing him say all this just... infuriates her. It shouldn't, so that means of course it does.
God, okay, here it goes. This is what he should have said last night, maybe it's easier before he has a chance to really think too hard. Or something? He catches their server's eye and she ducks off to give them a few minutes.
"After... him." Kilgrave, he still can't even say the guy's name. "You didn't ever think about... I mean, I know I was an asshole. I really didn't get it, and now..."
Now he's seen two different women brainwashed right in front of him, he's been a victim, too. He picks at his nails and leans over his cup, appreciating the warmth if nothing else.
"Well, I thought about us a lot after that. I guess I just figured... it was better to let you move on. That having me around would just remind you of-" Everything terrible in the world? Yeah.
Here comes that headache again. It's like the more he talks the more he just feeds into that bitter and resentful part of her. Nothing he can say will satisfy her, she knows this. But she's worked up now, so there was no real solution otherwise.
"And what? You finally decide its a good time to tell me after I just so happen to drunk text you?"
The problem with Jessica is she just doesn't care what other people think, so she's perfectly okay to has this out, right here in this diner.
"I've been here, Luke. I've never stopped being here no matter how much I wished otherwise. And you're right, I don't have a monopoly on self pity, because clearly you have a big piece of it, too. How little do you think of yourself? How could you possibly--"
Her jaw clenches up once more and she looks away from him, upper lip pressing down roughly on her lower lip. Those familiar tears well up in her eyes and she quickly shoots her attention back over to him, so she can just spit it out and hopefully move on to stop the tears.
"How could you think my life would be better without you in it?"
"I'm not perfect, Jessica," he starts, but she's getting really emotional. He doesn't disagree with her, but he's been trying to own up to his mistakes. He wants to start over, but now she's crying. That has to be his fault. Luke doesn't think about it, he's across the table and on her side of the booth in an instant, pulling her into a gentle embrace against his chest. "I never meant to hurt you." He did and he can't change that. She's been here the whole time, but he's here now, it's up to her if she wants to accept that. If that's enough.
She's not in a full-blown dramatic sob or anything, but the fact that she even has tears streaming down her face silently in the first place really annoys the shit out of her. When he comes to pull her against him she's stiff, focusing all her attention on stopping this little outburst.
"But somehow we keep doing it to each other," She wants to make it clear she knows she's not completely innocent in all this. The back of her hand reaches up and wipes away at her cheeks.
She's not shoving him away so he stays close, petting her hair idly and tipping his nose against her forehead.
"Yeah," he agrees, voice scratchy but not without its own depth of emotion. "Maybe that's just what we do." Hurt each other. It doesn't make him any less game to try being in her life again, though. And maybe that says something about him more than her in the end.
"Yeah," she says idly, knowing she at least needs to eat something even if she's in denial about it, still unsure about everything. She's always going to question why people, especially him, willingly want to be around her. Shit, they haven't even ordered their food yet and already she's crying.
Jessica shakes her head softly, swallowing hard. "I know it might seem hard to believe after all this, but... I get it," She nods a little bit, still staring downwards. "Thinking everyone is better off without you. But you're not--I'm not."
It's here she finally allows herself to give into his physical comforts, leaning against him.
It warms him through his chest and even up his throat, nodding against her in silent agreement.
"I'm not." Better off without her. He'd been miserable, lonely, bitter, directionless. He might actually need her and that terrifies him, but he doesn't want to pull away even so. And her rejoinder has a deep laugh rippling against her skin. "Good choice."
Jessica turns her head to look at him, feeling compelled to tell him that she missed him. Instead she just buries her face against him, taking in his scent and letting herself enjoy this moment. Her eyes close.
"Thank you, for not giving up on me," She's always disappointing people or doing the wrong thing with them--him included. The difference is, he's the only one who stuck around. The one who she never deserved in the first place.
She doesn't even want food, but the waitress is cautiously moving towards them after the scene had calmed down. She sighs, reluctantly pulling away.
"Sorry," She says, glancing up to the poor woman while grabbing the menu. "We had a lot of feelings about breakfast meats, I guess." Breathing in through her mouth, she decides on something random. "I'll take the french toast breakfast, eggs scrambled with a side of sausage," Her eyes turn to look at Luke now. "That's what we agreed on, right?"
He just nods, his lips tracing against her brow as he internalizes that. She shouldn't thank him when he'd been too cowardly to reach out, but as their waitress approaches, he returns to his seat with extreme reluctance himself. Jessica's commentary captures a laugh from him, but then he offers their server a sweet smile and his own order, letting her figure out the rest.
"Same, bacon with mine. And orange juice. Please." He hands the menu over before turning his attention back on Jess. "Agree to disagree?"
"You are the absolute worst, you know that?" She replies back to him, without even skipping a beat, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head. She wants to question why she likes him as much as she does, but he knows that she likes his smug, smart ass mouth.
Her hands circle around her coffee and she goes to take a full sip now, it cooling down during their little discussion.
Luke just watches her for a moment, then says: "I had an inkling." Because people tell him all the time, mostly. And yet he's still himself, go figure. "You're still here with me so what's that say about you?"
"Easy, I don't have standards for myself. And that says more about you than anything." Jessica takes another long sip, raising her brows up at him. Clearing her throat a bit after swallowing, she sets the mug back down on the table. "So, what's next? You got some place to be today?"
He thinks about that for a minute but ultimately lets it go.
"The club, tonight." Though he's considering blowing it off, honestly. He suddenly knows what Pops feels like, running a business, and it makes him even more of a hero in Luke's mind. "So... big nope. You?"
"I don't know," She gives a glance out the window, finding it amusing that he's asking her that. As if she wouldn't take the chance to spend the day with him if she could. "Got a few cases I'm working on, but nothing that's too pressing. I might be able to squeeze you in, though. If I feel like it." Jessica tilts her head at him a bit like the brat she is.
He's just making conversation, gosh!! "Well, I understand if you have to work. I should probably actually sleep... at some point." For now he'll just drink this coffee and make another gross face. The waitress comes by with his juice and he couldn't be happier to trade with her even as she refills Jessica's cup and keeps moving.
God. She rolls her eyes. Why are you so desensitized to her sarcasm, Luke?? "Screw work."
Her teasing had backfired on her, but for once she laughs a bit at the irony of it all instead of her usual annoyance. Jessica eyes the waitress as she drops off the juice, silencing herself until she leaves to continue. For the most part she's joking, but she's still trying to figure out where they go from here. "So that's it then? A little drama, a little bacon and then... What, you're gone again?" She picks up her coffee and brings it to her lips once more, that playful smirk still on her face. "Consider me disappointed."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"It's all just weird, alright? I didn't see you or have any kind of relationship with you after Kilgrave and now we're sleeping together and getting coffee," Jessica's eyes motion up to the waitress and she offers a small nod and a, 'thank you' before resuming her conversation. "So, yeah. Sometimes drunk Jessica makes decisions that makes unfortunately sober Jessica reflect. Is that okay with you?"
Her hand reaches for the coffee and she brings it to her lips and sips before making a frustrated annoyed face and setting back down. Even the fact the coffee is hot is pissing her off, so. Safe to say she is not a morning person.
no subject
"It is, actually." That's all he'd been trying to say. But he's also not upset about... any of this. Still super amused, he takes a first sip and leans back. Yeah, that's good. Or kind of mediocre, really, but he needed it even if coffee isn't his usual thing. The caffeine will help his head. "We're not... sleeping together." Wait. "Are we?"
Is that what they...? He tips his head, sliding his coffee away from himself and looking at her face. She's still grumpy, but that's not what strikes him.
"You texted me and asked me to come over, yeah? I did. So, just... tell me how you expected that to go, I guess. You thought us having sex would be any less complicated than us not having sex?" Because he seriously doesn't think so, personally. He takes another sip and makes another face, then laughs. "I don't know why I ordered this, I really don't like coffee."
no subject
"Sex is easy, Luke," Jessica turns her attention back to him now. "Or I thought it was, with you. I don't know, I was drunk and lonely and..." She catches herself almost admitting that she misses him and quickly stops, dropping her gaze to the black liquid in her cup beneath her. "I don't know," she repeats, it being the only answer she has to give him. "I don't know what I expected to happen either way." She fucks shit up, she makes things complicated--that's kind of her thing. Sorry, Luke.
no subject
The way they should've so long ago. The way they owed to each other and themselves. He draws his hand away and holds his cup in both hands for somewhere to put them more than anything else.
"It's not like I know what I expected either." He just wanted to see her. Obviously, he still does or he'd be gone by now.
no subject
"What exactly is there left to figure out?" As her hands release from that mug, Jessica leans back against the booth. "I told you last night I was all in, you didn't really give me any indication that was something you want to do, and now here we are."
She grabs a menu and starts to look at, but not actually. It's just something to look at so she can avoid eye contact with him.
"You a sausage or bacon kind of guy, Luke? No pressure, though. I'm sure you'll need time think it over, apparently."
no subject
He puts his menu down and asks, "Which one do you like better?"
no subject
It's here that Jessica's eyes look up at him from the menu after he snipes his question back at her, and the rest of her body is left unmoving.
"Does it matter?"
no subject
"Of course it matters," he scoffs, only realizing after he hears real emotion in his voice that they're not talking about breakfast meats. "To me, it matters to me." What Jessica wants. That's always mattered, no matter how she wants to see his actions in her mind.
no subject
"Where exactly is all this coming from?"
no subject
"After... him." Kilgrave, he still can't even say the guy's name. "You didn't ever think about... I mean, I know I was an asshole. I really didn't get it, and now..."
Now he's seen two different women brainwashed right in front of him, he's been a victim, too. He picks at his nails and leans over his cup, appreciating the warmth if nothing else.
"Well, I thought about us a lot after that. I guess I just figured... it was better to let you move on. That having me around would just remind you of-" Everything terrible in the world? Yeah.
no subject
"And what? You finally decide its a good time to tell me after I just so happen to drunk text you?"
The problem with Jessica is she just doesn't care what other people think, so she's perfectly okay to has this out, right here in this diner.
"I've been here, Luke. I've never stopped being here no matter how much I wished otherwise. And you're right, I don't have a monopoly on self pity, because clearly you have a big piece of it, too. How little do you think of yourself? How could you possibly--"
Her jaw clenches up once more and she looks away from him, upper lip pressing down roughly on her lower lip. Those familiar tears well up in her eyes and she quickly shoots her attention back over to him, so she can just spit it out and hopefully move on to stop the tears.
"How could you think my life would be better without you in it?"
no subject
no subject
"But somehow we keep doing it to each other," She wants to make it clear she knows she's not completely innocent in all this. The back of her hand reaches up and wipes away at her cheeks.
no subject
"Yeah," he agrees, voice scratchy but not without its own depth of emotion. "Maybe that's just what we do." Hurt each other. It doesn't make him any less game to try being in her life again, though. And maybe that says something about him more than her in the end.
"Ready to order?"
no subject
Jessica shakes her head softly, swallowing hard. "I know it might seem hard to believe after all this, but... I get it," She nods a little bit, still staring downwards. "Thinking everyone is better off without you. But you're not--I'm not."
It's here she finally allows herself to give into his physical comforts, leaning against him.
"Also, it's sausage."
no subject
"I'm not." Better off without her. He'd been miserable, lonely, bitter, directionless. He might actually need her and that terrifies him, but he doesn't want to pull away even so. And her rejoinder has a deep laugh rippling against her skin. "Good choice."
no subject
"Thank you, for not giving up on me," She's always disappointing people or doing the wrong thing with them--him included. The difference is, he's the only one who stuck around. The one who she never deserved in the first place.
She doesn't even want food, but the waitress is cautiously moving towards them after the scene had calmed down. She sighs, reluctantly pulling away.
"Sorry," She says, glancing up to the poor woman while grabbing the menu. "We had a lot of feelings about breakfast meats, I guess." Breathing in through her mouth, she decides on something random. "I'll take the french toast breakfast, eggs scrambled with a side of sausage," Her eyes turn to look at Luke now. "That's what we agreed on, right?"
no subject
"Same, bacon with mine. And orange juice. Please." He hands the menu over before turning his attention back on Jess. "Agree to disagree?"
no subject
Her hands circle around her coffee and she goes to take a full sip now, it cooling down during their little discussion.
no subject
no subject
no subject
"The club, tonight." Though he's considering blowing it off, honestly. He suddenly knows what Pops feels like, running a business, and it makes him even more of a hero in Luke's mind. "So... big nope. You?"
no subject
no subject
no subject
Her teasing had backfired on her, but for once she laughs a bit at the irony of it all instead of her usual annoyance. Jessica eyes the waitress as she drops off the juice, silencing herself until she leaves to continue. For the most part she's joking, but she's still trying to figure out where they go from here. "So that's it then? A little drama, a little bacon and then... What, you're gone again?" She picks up her coffee and brings it to her lips once more, that playful smirk still on her face. "Consider me disappointed."
now it's my turn to play the 15 icon game
LMAO SEE IT'S THE WORST /looks at karen
looks at her too & sighs
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)